About half an hour ago someone knocked on our front door. My roommate Becca went upstairs, looked through the peephole and decided not to answer. We’ve employed this method before – we don’t live in the best neighborhood and it was a stranger.
15 minutes after the knock on the door, I was in my bedroom cursing at WordPress (it wouldn’t let me upload a photo to a post). As I sat in bed I heard a noise outside my bedroom window. “Surely not” passed through my mind as I walked over to the window. Upon pulling open the curtain I found myself looking at a pair of blue jeans and a pair of hands pulling back the window well cover. “Surely not” was quickly replaced by “Are you freaking kidding me?” and I knocked on the window.
Pay attention – this is where it gets entertaining.
The blue jeans squat down and a face appears in the window. I wave, he looks at me, pauses, then stands up. I grab my phone and head upstairs. By the time I reached the back door they were gone.
The police have come and gone (everyone take a moment and pray for the Grandview Police Department). Our alarm is turned on and I’m sitting on the couch watching American Idol Rewind with my roommate. I just want to say one final thing…
Maybe a Sunday afternoon isn’t the best time to accomplish your goal of stealing my stuff. If you do manage to steal from my home in the near future, you will be punished. Your punishment may not take place in this life but it most certainly will in the next. I really don’t want that for you. Just ask next time. You’ll probably end up with far more.
Someday thieves will be no more. Praise be to the living God.
Oh, and I would have hunted you down and killed you dead if you had taken my new stilettos.
