Sometimes I hate the things Jesus told me to do. That’s right, I said it.
Sometimes everything inside of me wants to flip over a table in a moment of righteous indignation and say, “I’m sorry, I must have misheard you. What did you say to me?” The fight would then be taken outside and my stilettos would become weapons. I would give no thought to turning the other cheek or living peaceably with all.
On other occasions I find myself with a giant plank in my eye. I know it’s there – I am fully aware of my status as a dirty hypocrite. Sometimes I want to take that giant plank and use it to smack people around. Though they may actually be deserving of it Jesus tells me no. All I ask for is a couple of whacks but perfection demands a different way.
Then there are times I simply want peace. I ask the Lord for something to say that will just make it better. He then reminds me He came to earth with a sword. In the midst of darkness and deceit a word of truth will enrage rather than pacify. The cost of false peace is a price far too high to pay. Still, though, that sword makes me want to head for the hills. True growth and healing demand a sacrifice I’m not necessarily ready to give.
Everyday I experience the struggle as my old self fights to survive. I am not meek or righteous. Murder and adultery are very present in my heart yet the Lord extends His hand towards me. He renews me in His image through both His leadership and discipline. I love His judgments for through them I learn how to put on compassion, kindness, patience and love. When I again fall short in those areas His mercies await me in the morning. My weak attempts at righteousness really will lead to sanctification and eternal life.
Today is a day I fully feel the indignation of the Lord because of sin. In the midst of the tension between who I am currently and who I will become, I find comfort in knowing that He delights in the process. I am not yet meek, righteous or holy…but I will be.
Praise be to the living God.
This is the best post title ever.
Gee golly whiz thanks Char.
I think “The masquerade of pinstriped suits” was better.
Why thank you. I’m feeling all sorts of love. If only I had known all it took was good post titles…
Of course! We don’t have time to do things like actually read the content of your posts; we’re much to busy. Instead, we need everything reduced to factoids and 5-second blurbs.
All information, no matter how important, needs to be communicated in less than 10 words – got it. I shall keep that in mind for the future.
I appreciate your guidance Matthew.
“…but I will be.” Me too. Yay.