There was sweeping to be done, dishes to be cleaned and garage doors to be unplugged (that’s right, a saboteur was afoot). The chastity couch* was put in the hallway amidst cries of happiness, “They’ve made up their minds!” – and cries of bewilderment, “Oh my god oh my god oh my god.” The street was crossed by Jesse many a time as we remembered random things we needed from his house.
It all started with a text message to the boss lady…“I’ve got a horrific headache. I’m going to work from home and wait for it to pass.” Then the craziness began.
A solid five hours was spent preparing the meal. Unfortunately, it was at no point consumed by me. Maybe Richard and I taste-tested it along the way…maybe.
Another five hours was spent moving furniture, arranging flowers, deciding on place settings, lighting candles, relighting candles – ie deep tissue decorating.
We even had a plan in place if she happened to come home during the day: I would dive tackle her out the front door. As she lay on the ground confused (and probably angry) I would then scream in pain and declare my leg to be broken. As she frantically helped me to the car she would forget to wonder why I was at her house in the middle of the day. I would then convince her to drive me to North Kansas City Hospital because they have the best doctors – the commercials say so. Once the doctors ascertain that my leg is not in fact broken, I would pull them into a side room and demand they break it, or at least take the time to put a cast on it. Then she would drive me home. The End. We totally had a great plan. It would have worked too.
The worst part? Waiting across the street for them to arrive. It was sheer agony. The next time he tells me 7pm I’m going to assume he means 7:23pm. The best part? Watching her walk through the front door.
It all ended with a text message from the boss lady…”Headache my foot”
Who knew helping someone get engaged was so tiring? Not I.**
Yeah, I have to ask: Chastity couch?
Boss lady has a giant couch in her living room. We decided to move said giant couch into another room to help with the engagement decorating transformation – except we couldn’t get it around the corner (giant couches don’t bend). So we shoved it down the hallway leading to the bedrooms, making it nearly impossible to get to the bedrooms. It was then dubbed “the chastity couch”.
Lauren, Excellent use of the IHOP phrase, “pull him into a side room.”
Well done for pulling of such an epic [stunt] spectacular – not unlike this one:
http://disneyworld.disney.go.com/wdw/parks/attractionDetail?id=IndianaJonesEpicStuntSpectacularAttractionPage
Thanks Chris. IHOP language creeps in unnoticed after five years.
Really? Her giant couch didn’t bend? Next time you should get her to invest in a rubber model. They’re all the rage on the East Coast.
You just think you’re so clever, don’t you? Well let me tell you something…
Who am I kidding? You make me laugh out loud. Clever you are.
Thanks, praise always help prop up my ego.
And then it gets crushed by a stupid type that I can’t edit or delete.
Hey Lauren, It was great meeting you the other night…You are a great friend to do all this for them!!
Caroline
Thanks Caroline! It was great meeting you as well.
Oh Matthew…that’s what you get for making fun of me. It’s moments like these that I believe Jesus enjoys irony as much as I do.