In the next few days I will be writing out my testimony for an application for a week long program later in the spring. It is something I have not done in detail in years. In preparation I have spent the last few days thinking, speaking, editing, outlining and reediting…I was most certainly the annoying girl in high school who really liked writing papers.
In the midst of this process one recurring theme has again become blatantly apparent – I was jacked up.
Here are some highlights of the story of me:
I came out of the womb independent and strong-willed to a fault. If you think I’m exaggerating you can ask my mother. My father was the only male example I had for 16 years. Consequently I have a tendency to transfer his personality and beliefs onto other men.* For a very long time I hated who I was because I thought everyone else did as well. I was saved when I was 13 and while it kept me on the straight and narrow it did not affect my heart for many years. I like love being in absolute control.
The flip side of remembering all this darkness and sin is the chance to look at who I am now. It is remarkable to see the hand of the Lord shaping who I was, who I am now…and who I will become. There is much, much work to be done. By the grace of God it will be purified and sanctified in the remaining decades of my life.
I want to change the world but first I want to change myself.
Been listening to Corey Russel, eh?
your dad influenced you. How? Good or Bad? did you think he hated you? when you transferred his personality on to other men was that good or bad? was their some other reason you thought everyone hated you. its confusing.